Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow.
Anonymous
photo by cheryl sparks
I am ready to see the snow. To feel it on my face. To hear the silence of it all. I am ready.
This season of Thanksgiving and Christmas has given me time to think. I am grateful for that.
I have been blessed. I realize that I did what I wanted to do over the past five and a half years.
Each day was heartbreaking.
To look at the love of your life, and slowly lose him.
To no longer have the chats, the teasing, the bantering.
To know that I had to think for him first, always, without him knowing it.
I would sometimes think that this must be what it is like to die a death of a thousand cuts.
Five and a half years.
Those daily cuts have stopped.
I am grateful for them, though.
It is because of those days that I am now able to smile.
I will manage the tough moments.
Putting the angel atop the Christmas tree.
The first ornament we bought together.
I will embrace those moments of sadness.
And then I will smile. For I was blessed.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
Helen Keller
5 comments:
Each moment will be filled with pain and gladness. It's a hard first couple of years. But you are very right....living with gratefulness sure beats the alternative....bitter and angry.
We must move forward, bravely, mustn't we?
All is well.
Love you.
So poignant are your words. My dear Father-in-law is fading and we are all hanging on to him. It was so wonderful to go visit him last month and to hear that he is asking "Where did that beautiful girl go?" He always has made me feel extra special and now I see where his son learned that. I think we can learn so much about ourselves as we witness life, the good and the not so good are all such valuable lessons.
May the comfort of your family, children and friends provide strength to give you stamina and to celebrate your dedication all in the name of love.
pve
Two of my girlfriends lost their husbands this year.. I am glad i was able to give them some comfort. Its not enough i know..
Your words tell me, that you are coming to peace with the passing of your hubby Kenny.. You will always have wonderful memories .. I send you warm wishes.. enjoy young Graham.. I hope your pain will be less as time goes by.
val
O, Cheryl, I had posted my comment before I read till the end... I sincerely regret. I believe Kenny is looking at you from The Heaven and he's happy. Take care, Cheryl! And Merry Christmas!
Well, we got through our first Christmas without our Dad, and your family has done the same. Sweet memories but a sadness too, wanting him to know how much he is missed, and that we keep him with us always. Happy New Year, CHeryl, and hope you are finding some peace with each passing day.
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