Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow.
photo by cheryl sparks
I am ready to see the snow. To feel it on my face. To hear the silence of it all. I am ready.
This season of Thanksgiving and Christmas has given me time to think. I am grateful for that.
I have been blessed. I realize that I did what I wanted to do over the past five and a half years.
Each day was heartbreaking.
To look at the love of your life, and slowly lose him.
To no longer have the chats, the teasing, the bantering.
To know that I had to think for him first, always, without him knowing it.
I would sometimes think that this must be what it is like to die a death of a thousand cuts.
Five and a half years.
Those daily cuts have stopped.
I am grateful for them, though.
It is because of those days that I am now able to smile.
I will manage the tough moments.
Putting the angel atop the Christmas tree.
The first ornament we bought together.
I will embrace those moments of sadness.
And then I will smile. For I was blessed.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.