I am writing this today

because tomorrow I will be away.

I am shocked that it has been a year.

I feel as though I have been in a fog most of the time.

A quote on the back of Joyce Carol Oates book,

A Widow's Story says

of the widow's countless death-duties

there is really just one that matters:

on the first anniversary of her husbands death,

the widow should think

'I kept myself alive.'

I did that.

Some days were easier than others.

Most days were spent going through the motions,

then going home and collapsing.

I don't know how this next year will be.

The numbness is wearing off.

The hurt is beginning.

He is with me always.

Comp Romp 2

Sometimes photos are just meant to capture memories.

More were here

Photos weren't great

Epic fail for the photographer

So good to have

such an amazing group of friends.

Love you all

August

Turning the page on the calendar was hard

I can't imagine that you have been gone for a year

This is how I think of you.

Diet Coke in hand.

"Tell me, how can I live without my husband any longer?

This is my first awakening thought each morning...."

Mary Ann Todd Lincoln

photo by Donna Boucher/Miz Booshay

"Grief can't be shared.

Everyone carries it alone.

His own burden in his own way."

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When company comes we see things that we don't normally see.

Things that are always there

The clean water of the Westport River

I took pictures of a willing candidate

The weather did not cooperate

It didn't really matter

We had an amazing time

Happy Birthday Sweet Child of Mine

I am so blessed that God let me borrow you.

Waiting for you

Checking things out

Tired, snuggly girl with pupper

and we still see this face..

A Mumford and Sons concert just for you

You and Mark

I didn't know what I was doing when you were born.

Daddy and I did the best we could, 

and loved you.

Change of Command

USS Nicholas

John Quincy Adams once said,

'If your actions inspire others to

dream more,

learn more,

do more,

and become more,

you are a leader.'

To quote John Maxwell,

 "One is too small of a number to achieve greatness.

The goal is more important than the role."

We have found in Commander Fuller the type of leader that inspires us to dream more,

learn more,

do more

and become more.

It has been an honor to serve with you, sir.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Commander Stephen Fuller"

The above quotes are taken from the words

of Ship Serviceman Second Class Victor Gorea, 

pictured above with his ship's Commander,

my brother.

Captain Nelson C. Castro and Commander Stephen F. Fuller

Commander Stephen F. Fuller and Commander Cory G. Blaser

Emma Jane reaching for her daddy

Jodee, the strength at home

Stephen and I are the bookends of the family.

Is it because of this that he holds a special place in my heart?

I don't think so.

As different as we all are,
I just seem to

"get Stephen"

Today we are in Norfolk, Virginia 

He has been the Commander of the USS Nicholas, which has been at sea for six months,
and has had many very successful missions

Today he is leaving that ship, handing it over to another 

Capable Naval Officer.

I will take photos

But here is one from a celebration in Boston on the USS Hawes
This was another ship on which he was Commander.
 Kenny was there

I miss him 

He would have loved today